you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
