he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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