question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
