my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
