Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
