dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
