Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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