Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
