Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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