Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
