Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
