Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
