Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
