I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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