so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
