haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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