Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
