He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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