at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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