I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
