nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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