Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Buhtt sex?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
