Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
