When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
