The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
