My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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