A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Drake has all the answers
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
