my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
