It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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