I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
