So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
