Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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