quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
