i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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