For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
