i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
