Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
