is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
