i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
