Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
