what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
