She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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