Kiss
Puke
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
