he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
