Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
