After last night, I could never be a politician.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
