Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
