my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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