I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
