i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
