That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
