Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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