Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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