escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Semen is not good for contacts.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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