My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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